The Struggle for Assurance

In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. On that earth, he made a garden, and in that garden, he placed a creature made in his own image. He commissioned that creature to tend the garden in partnership with him. The purpose was that they should spread that garden over the whole earth. These creatures were given a commission and a stipulation: do not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. As God’s creatures tended the garden, they were faced with a decision: Will they rely on God to guide them? Or will they take the fruit and assure that they knew it all themselves? Ever since then, humanity has wanted a sense of assurance. We want to know for ourselves what is good and evil. Time and time again, we see the human characters in the Bible receive a promise or instructions from God and attempt to make it happen themselves by whatever means necessary. Why do we do this? Why do we seek assurance at the cost of ourselves and often, of others? Perhaps we have a scarcity mindset, and we do not believe there are enough resources to go around. This does not only apply to physical resources but also to blessings, opportunities, influence, and love. No matter what the particular issue is, we do not think that we can have what we need or want while others also get what they need or want. Another reason we might take situations into our own hands is that we are afraid that God will not act in the way we desire. Other times it is simply our fickle impatience that pushes us to act out of step with the Lord. In the book of Genesis, we find a character and a story that beautifully displays the reality of a life spent fighting for assurance. This character's name is Jacob. His story kicks off in Genesis chapter 25, and right from the start, we see that he is a bit of a schemer. Jacob was the younger of the twins born to Isaac. Being the firstborn was a great honor at that time, and the firstborn would receive a blessing and inheritance from his father that was far greater than that of his brothers. Yet God had told Isaac that the younger would actually be the son of the blessing. Knowing this, we see Jacob faced with the same kind of decision that Adam and Eve faced. To trust in God for the blessing, or to seek to obtain the blessing for himself. One day when his brother Esau came back from a long hunt, exhausted, asking Jacob for food, Jacob responded by offering him a deal. "I give you this food, you give me your birthright." The birthright was the inheritance, and Esau agreed to the deal because of his hunger and exhaustion. Now why would Jacob feel the need to do this? Had not God already spoken and said he would be blessed? Again, during this period, he and his mother hatched a plan to trick his father Isaac into giving him the blessing. Jacob continued to make the most of each opportunity by taking the blessing for himself, just like Adam and Eve, even though it was already promised to him. After this second trick, his brother sought to kill him. Just like Cain sought to kill Abel. In both stories, the older brother sought to kill the younger brother due to the younger receiving the blessing, but this story highlights a difference between the younger brothers. While Abel was offering his best sacrifice to God, Jacob was cheating people out of their blessings. To preserve his own life, Jacob ran from his home, leaving all the blessings that he had tried to cheat his brother out of behind.

On his flight from Esau, Jacob encountered God while sleeping in the wilderness. He saw angels ascending and descending onto the earth, and he heard God tell him that he would be blessed, that God would be with him, and that through his family, he would be a blessing to others. This encounter is, in essence, a second chance for Jacob. God had already said he would bless him, but Jacob had tried to take the blessing that God had said he would receive. Because of his scheming, he is now alone in the desert with only the shirt on his back. The new information we get from God is that Jacob's blessing is supposed to be for the benefit of others as well. Jacob ended up in his uncle's house, where he fell in love with his uncle's daughter, so Jacob and his uncle struck a deal. Jacob would work for his uncle for seven years, at which time he would marry his daughter. Things seemed to go smoothly, and it says that Jacob didn't even notice the passage of time. Then when it came time to marry, Jacob got a taste of his own medicine. His uncle tricked him by giving him the wrong daughter. Laban recognized that the favor of the Lord was on Jacob because his flocks grew abundantly while in his care. So he tricks Jacob to keep that blessing with himself as long as possible. After fourteen years of Jacob working for the rights to Laban's daughters, they struck another deal. Jacob agreed to continue to watch over the flocks of Laban on one condition: To keep for himself the less desirable multi-colored sheep. Laban agreed, and Jacob began his next trick. He selectively bred the sheep to strengthen and increase his own flock while weakening and decreasing Laban's. This was done again to assure his own future at the expense of the prosperity of others. We have now seen Jacob trick his brother, his father, and his uncle, but it is not Just him who is perpetuating this cycle. Jacob’s wives engaged in a destructive cycle of attempting to secure the love of their husband, and Laban used his own daughters in a ploy to grow his wealth. Everyone in the story is acting as if love and blessings are a scarcity that must be obtained at the cost of others. Eventually, Jacob realized that, like the times he had tricked his brother, his goose had been cooked, and it was time for him to leave. Just like how Jacob had ended up leaving the inheritance that he had schemed to gain, Laban watched the flocks that he had schemed for, walk away with another. God spoke to Jacob and told him to return to his father's country so that he may bless him, so Jacob packed his bags and left the land of Laban. As a precautionary measure, he sent scouts ahead to speak to his brother and get a lay of the land. What they found made Jacob afraid. The brother, whose blessing had been stolen by Jacob, was now four hundred men strong. Jacob began to strategize how he would approach his brother. The last time they were together Esau was intent on killing Jacob because of how he had tricked him. Now Jacob feared that Esau would come with all of his men to kill him and his family. Again, we see Jacob faced with the same choice that he had in the beginning of his story. Does he trust that God will bless him or does he do what it takes to assure he will get the blessing? Jacob split his household into multiple camps so that if Esau was intent on destruction, he would only destroy one, and the others would escape. Then Jacob prayed this prayer:

Genesis 32:9–12 And Jacob said, “O God of my father Abraham and God of my father Isaac, O LORD who said to me, ‘Return to your country and to your kindred, that I may do you good,’ I am not worthy of the least of all the deeds of steadfast love and all the faithfulness that you have shown to your servant, for with only my staff, I crossed this Jordan, and now I have become two camps. Please deliver me from the hand of my brother, from the hand of Esau, for I fear him, that he may come and attack me, the mothers with the children. But you said, ‘I will surely do you good, and make your offspring as the sand of the sea, which cannot be numbered for multitude.’” (ESV)

We see in Jacob the tension that exists in all of us. The same tension that was there at the beginning, in the Garden of Eden. This is the tension that arises from our lack of assurance. Jacob had no way of ensuring what Esau would do, and isn't that the very heart of our struggle? Our inability to control situations and ensure the outcome? But Jacob was not done trying. That night Jacob wrestled with God, and when it was time to break up the match Jacob clung to God and said he would not let go unless he received a blessing. This whole story God has been saying that he would bless and prosper Jacob, and Jacob has been wrestling to secure blessings and resources out of the hands of every person whom he has come across. Jacob even testified in the previous prayer that God had blessed him by prospering him into two camps. The only fruit of Jacob's tricks and efforts to secure it all for himself has been enmity between himself and the other characters in the story. The grappling match ended by God permanently maiming and partially crippling Jacob. God also changed Jacob's name to Israel because of his incessant wrestling with God and men, and he blessed him a third time. After wrestling with God, we see a difference in Jacob. He still split his family into multiple groups and sent a gift to Esau ahead of him, but rather than being the last to arrive, like he had originally planned, he came before his family. When Jacob met Esau, Esau hugged and kissed his brother, and when Jacob offered many blessings, Esau responded by saying “I have enough, my brother”. Was this not the same Esau whose blessing had been stolen? And of whom it was said that he would live by the sword? And yet here he is, prosperous, and forgiving. It turns out that there was enough blessing to go around right from the start. Life will always hand us unknowns. The scriptures tell us time and time again that there are a few things we can be assured of. That God is good, and that he is God and we are not. When we seek to control the world around us to ensure we get what we need, we often end up doing so at the expense of others. Our call as followers of Christ is to rely upon the Lord, living with hands that are open to receive blessings on God's time and to bless those around us. His blessings, love, and favor are not meant only to come to us, but they are meant to come through us to others. Remember the greatest commandments! To love God with your whole self, and to love others as much as yourself. Our desire to assure and secure our own blessing in this life is often a barrier to our call to become a blessing.

Psalm 46:10–11 “Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth!” The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah (ESV)